Saturday, February 12, 2011

{the verdict.}

After missing the first week of the semester for a capsule endoscopy, an upper endoscopy, & a colonoscopy:

I am a Celiac patient who's body is resistant to a gluten free diet.

I could think of a million things to say about how this makes me feel, but the one thing I've been feeling lately is anger.

I am so mad.

When I was diagnosed, I was told a gluten free diet was the only way to "cure" Celiac. Right now, I am struggling to accept the fact that the one thing that is supposed to make me better, is making me more sick. I am so angry about it.

I am angry that I have to deal with meal planning & weekly grocery budgets in college. Isn't this stuff supposed to come after college?

I am angry that I have to have bi-weekly weigh-ins to make sure I'm maintaing my weight.

I am angry that I have to base my travel plans around Celiac.

But mostly, I am angry that Celiac has made me an angry person. It is making me resent my new life, and I resent that it is. I thought I was over this. I thought I had come to a good place with this. I am sick of complaining about it. I feel awful complaining about it. I am sure my friends are sick of hearing about it.

I'm sure this blog is sick of hearing about it! ;)

Tomorrow I am going to go grocery shopping. Get started on some of my meals for the week. Bake cookies. Try to write some songs.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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